the past week, and few days, have been a struggle for sure. my brain keeps throwing me “what ifs”, and i’ve finally been able to admit to myself that i’m a little bit terrified in all of this. and i feel selfish for thinking this way, but what i’m most worried about is the after – what happens after this is all over? will things be the same, or will i be cast aside? what will i i want at the end of this? what do i even want now? i don’t really know at this point. i’m trying to count my blessings in this, i really am – so hooray for new friendships and talks, and for great friends all around.

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